You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize