I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
