I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
