i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
