Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
