I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
