can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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