It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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