why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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