you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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