their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
time to smoke my breakfast
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
