I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
