I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
