hell yes lets make some ravioli
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
