dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
