I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
