I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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