I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize