I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
