Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
