I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
