I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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