margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize