I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
