I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Randomize
