The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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