i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
