So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
