I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You were trust falling into bushes
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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