I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
