My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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