You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
