addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
