they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
