Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
