Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
