I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize