I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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