I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
