Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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