I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
