i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
