I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
