I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
