Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
