I looked at my own cervix.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
