Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
