absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize