just tell him i said nine months
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
