so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
