I can text with my tongue
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Let's get the cat blown out
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
