I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
there is glitter all over my balls
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