Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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