Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
