Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
