omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
