Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
