so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Someone came in the potted fern
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
