Small penises have feelings too.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I understand Curling. That high.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
