I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
