We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
