Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
