I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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