I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize