I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
