the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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