New invention idea: vibrating tampons
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
