People with herpes should wear stickers.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize