Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
