Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
