its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
