id be glad to
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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