maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
