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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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