Taylor Swift is so right about you.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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