Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I stole a fireplace last night.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
