I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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