I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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