I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize