I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
