elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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