I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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