Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
