she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
What a dumb baby whore.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
