is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
