Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
