question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
