that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
