then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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